Rules of Engagement

My old camera had a scratch on the lens, so it had to be replaced before my trip to hike the Inca Trail. I deliberated so much over which camera to buy that I actually purchased two in hopes that I could sell the one that didn’t make the cut in test runs. My Canon G12 was the winner. Every day she took stunning photos of the scenery during our four day, 43K hike, and every night I would sleep with the battery to keep it from draining. She even had videos of us dancing up the stairs to lift our spirits on Day 2, the most challenging day of the hike that involves a 1200 meter gain in elevation. When we finally caught our first glimpse of the ruins, we just couldn’t take enough photos. But, being physically exhausted from the rigorous hike and routine of waking up from anywhere between 3:30am to 6:00am, I may have been a little mentally challenged as well. I realized my great loss when our group met together to make a human pyramid: she was nowhere to be found. Did I let my sacred camera slip off my shoulder whilst sitting down to take a rest in an ancient corridor of Machu Picchu? Did someone cut the strap and sneak away, with me failing to notice? Did the Great Camera Demon decide that I would be his next victim? Even the footage from video cameras aimed at monitoring various locations in Machu Picchu didn’t contain the answer (although it was a creepy reminder that Big Brother is always watching!).

Did I cry like a baby after complete sleep deprivation and exhaustion at the loss of a brand new camera and a never to be repeated collection of photos? No way, of course not! [Drip, drip, drip, drip....salty splash]







In times of war, Rules of Engagement serve as guidelines: for example, it’s not ok to kill civilians or keep massacring an army that has accepted defeat. If memory serves me correct, during the Incan Empire, armies would stop fighting in order to gather their harvests. Well, thieves of the world, I would like to propose that you, too, ought to draft some Rules of Thievery, and they would go a little something like this:

Fine, take my camera, you horridselfishheartlessgreedy jerks, but give me back my memory card containing memories of a 43K hike to see the stunning ruins of Machu Picchu! Drop off the SD card at a designated safe zone!


Oh, and I’m blaming you for adding coveting and financial debt to my list of sins. If I hadn’t lost my camera, I would have probably never discovered that Wendy’s $1200 camera can capture shots like this:








I forgot all about SLR heaven. Great, now I feel like a one week old widow whose already fallen in love again. Sigh.

They Gave Me Fever!

I love experiencing things in foreign lands that are either unique to that culture or simply bizarre occurrences that might not happen elsewhere. Recently I’ve had two of these.

Part 1: The Dreaded RTV
(pronounced re-te-ve, it took me half a year to realize it’s an acronym). It’s laughable and a bit pitiable to imagine someone in the States wanting to celebrate the passing a smog check (big deal!), but the passing of RTV, Costa Rica’s version of a smog check but on crack, made me want to throw a Quinceañera for my car (it just so happens to be a 96!). The process for me went a little something like this:
I made an on-line appointment, trying my best to translate, at one of the countries’ approved locations an hour from my house. My roommate Laura (bless her sweet little heart for going with me) and I showed up, looking lost and confused, and were instructed to wait in our car in a line that looked a little something like the opening day of a new ride at Disneyland. After two hours of sweating and inching forward, we drove through a skinny little building with men under the car, over the car, and in the car, examining as much as they could in as little time as possible. I’m not sure how they missed my two broken door handles, but after driving through I received my certificate: FAIL!!! I had a month to fix the problems, but really only two weeks before my trip to Peru. It took 10 days to receive my parts, which means that once again the day before a trip I was running around like a headless chicken: dropping off my car off, waiting to be informed that my mechanic is lame and couldn’t fix the problem, driving over an hour to a muffler shop in Nicoya to have a new mystery part installed, and by 4:30pm rolling into RTV for my reinspect and doing my best to appear as truly pathetic and helpless as I felt inside. But woohoo, mission accomplished! This time around, I passed. So if one day, anyone has to get their RTV, I recommend the following:

*Get a victim, I mean good friend, to join you
*Bring a six pack of a delicious beverage
*Bring some sort of musical accompaniment
*Grab a deck of cards
*Practice your best weepy eyes, just in case things go poorly

And by the way Costa Rica, how can you have such a fierce inspection every year and yet so many pieces of JUNK on the roads?????


Part 2: Yellow Fever
Travelers visiting countries where Yellow Fever exists must show proof of vaccination in order to return to Costa Rica even if they don’t visit high risk zones. The jab would have cost me $50 in CR, but I read that in Peru you can pay little if nothing. Hmm, just what I like to do on vacay - visit a hospital/clinic to get a shot. After hiking the Inca Trail, I asked around and was sent to a clinic known for vaccinating travelers. The very friendly man who spoke English informed me that there was currently a shortage of the vaccine, but I could wait for the shipment arriving tomorrow. Hmm, no dice, I had to get on a night bus. Can’t I just pay for the certificate and be a super shady traveler since I won’t actually be visiting the Amazon? Darn, that would be lying. But wait - apparently there is a secret stash of the vaccine for fiebre amarilla! For just a mere $40, I could have a 3 person medical staff show up at my hostel in an ambulance to give me the shot and wait with me for half an hour to make sure there’s no reaction because I’m neurotic. Excuse me, WHAT???? And, um, well, YES! So for half an hour, the four of us chatted about Peru, vaccines and their possible link to autism, Costa Rica, and the fact that their should be rules of engagement for thieves (more on this to come). At least I think that’s what we talked about. It was in Spanish, so for all I know I could have told them I’m an autistic thief from Costa Rica visiting Peru.